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“Pilale Bay” by Peyton Hoge V

“Pilale Bay” by Peyton Hoge V
August 13, 2020 Nā Leo Literary Review

I’m here a lot. It doesn’t haunt me, but it might someday. I will miss it, I know. This place will be a distant memory. I’ll be able to look back through the photos on my phone and see it, but it won’t be real. It’s not perfect, but nothing is. Not me, for certain. I’ve got a list of inadequacies longer than this lanai and this table and this house and this property. I’m working on it. Pulling out my broken old self and replacing it with thoughtful, accurate, unbroken pieces. Or that’s the goal. Make me better. Stronger. More secure. I’m off topic. This lanai has a translucent green roof. A wooden deck beneath my feet that Joe and I painted pink. Right square in the middle is this big shiny marred storied wooden table. To my front, sits Joni the Jeep and behind me, is the pasture with two brown cows. Not the beverage, actual brown cows.

I first saw this place in one of Mandy’s Instagram stories. This house. A record blaring on the hi-fi. A sunny Haiku day was the backdrop. My immediate thought was is this why they decided not to hang out with me today? I thought we were gonna do an adventure together. I guess they got a better offer. One with a record player and a cool lanai. My strange energy wasn’t their want that day. The space to spread out with breezes and loud music. That was more appealing. I get it. I’m not that cool. I just try to be.

There’s a bay I can get to in about ten minutes from this spot by foot. Part of the trek involves a thick, tattered rope to assist on a steep section of trail. There’s a stream that lets out into the ocean. In 1790 Kamehameha waged a battle there against the chief of Maui and was victorious. This vicinity played a role in the unification of the islands a long long time ago. An era so different from this one. Nobody owned land. Nobody was paying rent to a lady named Hanah who is very emotional and isn’t good at getting shit fixed. Nobody sat at a table surrounded by electronic devices feeling alone and sad and that their life could be better if only they were stronger or some shit like that. Feeling whiny inside when everything outside is so god damn beautiful. But maybe this is both an easy and a hard place to be. A place where changes do occur but with struggle. Like everywhere. I think. I haven’t been everywhere. But I’ve been here and here feels good.

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